There are so many things in my life I have forgotten; Childhood friends, great moments in High School, scents and sounds and loves and lovers. So why can't I forget some things I want to, why won't they just go away...? They permeate who I am and how I think no matter how hard I fight them... I've ruined relationships, friendships, and lost family ties because of you... I'm tearing apart a relationship with the man I want to marry because I can't trust him. But the reason I can't trust him is because I could never trust you...

Alone...

I've never been in a place like this before ever... I live by myself, I go home to an empty bedroom, an empty kitchen, no TV or Internet. I sit on my couch for an hour just staring at the random pattern on the stucco wall... I get up off the couch to go take nap, or drive down the street to go shopping for nothing... I'm completely frozen, going nowhere, working towards nothing. I am just alone to be me, and I've never been happier... How can that be possible? I hate being alone...

NewB

I just know I'm not going to be good at this... Just reading through so many of your blogs I am amazed at the talented writers floating around this Blogging world. Bear with me as I try to learn...